Don’t know if you read about this or not, but apparently rap superstar/clothing designer/video game character/vitamin drink creator/ author/ actor/ public feud engager/ media mogul 50 Cent was made an offer by the culinary delicatessen, Taco Bell, to change his name from 50 Cent to 79 Cent for one day to promote Taco Bell’s Value Menu. They also wanted him to rap his order at a drive through. And in exchange they’d donate $10,000 to his charity of choice.

Wow, that is awesome. But apparently, 79 was not impressed and has now threatened to sue Taco Bell on grounds that they have horrible ideas. If you ask me, I think this whole situation boils down to one thing – “Street Cred.” Fitty is playing it smart and protecting his cred. He can’t be seen changing his name and shlockin’ some taco at the same time. If he was shlockin’ a new record, that might be different, but that’s not the point. The point is that the rap game is not a place where product endorsements and charitable donations abound… well, I suppose one of them abound… but anyways…

This got me thinking about my street cred. 79 cent is loaded with cred because he was a drug dealer who got shot in the face. Now, I got shot in the face once with a paintball gun. The only thing is that I was wearing a protective mask. But it still scared the shit out of me so I think that still counts. But unfortunately/fortunately, I have nothing to compare to the drug dealing.

As an independent pop singer/songwriter, I’ll admit that my street cred requirements are someone lower that that of an international gangsta-rap superstar, but I do feel that some cred is still needed to be taken seriously. So I started thinking about what kind of things one would need to hold enough street cred in the pop world. I’ve compiled a list:
1. I’ve had my heart broken
2. I’ve moved on and am stronger for it, but am sure I will feel hurt again.
3. I have sexual desires.
4. (This one’s for the indie popers out there) I own a pair of converse.

Now, from what I can gather from the pop music world, that really should be enough. But I’ve decided to up the anti. So here are some extra qualities of mine that I believe lift my street cred well above the acceptable level. You can do your own list at home.
5. I’ve been shot in the face with a paintball gun
6. I once smashed a guitar (now I would have gotten huge bonus points for this one had I smashed it over some dude in a bar fight)
7. I’ve played a show to a room with one person in it.
8. I’ve played a show to a room with the maximum number of occupants in it.
9. I’ve been in a fist fight an won.
10. I’ve never been a drug dealer but did once witness a drug deal going down from across the street.

Now, I started thinking about what I could do with all this excess cred, and to be honest, I can’t do a lot. So it occurred to me that if I were to partner with Taco Bell, my street cred might take a knock, but it’s cool, because I’ve got way more than I need anyway. So I thought, “What’s stopping us?”. Tomorrow, we will change our name to “Salsa and the Peso” and right after stopping and buying some immodium, we will go to a Taco Bell and sing our order for a chicken burrito in the form of a beautiful, heart warming ballad. Now all we need to do is decide on our charity of choice… hmmm… what’s that one Bono runs again? Working with Bono would definitely push my street cred back up to pre-Taco Bell levels!!

M@

Well hello there internet friends and loved ones,

There has been a serious lack of blogging activity in these parts and for that I am really very sorry. It’s been a real combination of laziness and self consciousness on my part. My thought processes have been something like this: “I don’t know if I have anything worth while to say… well, I guess I could say something about (insert idea here)… no, I’m tired, I’ll do it tomorrow.” And that, my friends, is how someone goes for weeks and weeks without writing a blog. I’m very good at it. Maybe I should write a book on how to not write anything…

Speaking of books, I just finished “A Long Way Down” by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy). Really, really loved it. I’ve read his others and I think this is his best. The characters in this one are really some of the best characters I’ve read – strongly defined personalities, and you really understand how they think, and although they’re all so different, I could relate to them all, in one way or another. He has such a gift for exploring sadness with great humour, so you find yourself really enjoying thinking about stuff that would normally bum you out. I love that. That’s kind of the best thing about pop music too; wrapping great ideas or emotions in enjoyable melodies so you enjoy them. But anyways, if you’re looking for a new read, check it out. Then we’ll reconvene here in a month for the first “Honey and the Money book club.” The first rule is of course, Don’t talk about Book Club…

On a serious note, a couple things that have made me sad as a Canadian:
First – Canadian idol. Wow, this show really sucks. At least Simon and Seacrest are enjoyable on the American version. Who are these judges? Who are these contestants? Who is watching this? I guess I am… doh! I always feel a little bad for the kids on it because it’s a TV show, not a music show, which is why you never hear about the winners 6 months after the finale. They finish the show, declare a winner, push out a sub par album as fast as they can to catch the dwindling interest in the new idol, make a few bucks, and then start a new season and start the whole cycle again. The truth is, after the winner is declared, it’s kind of boring. It’s like the US Open of golf last weekend. I was glued to the set during the Tiger Woods/ Rocco Mediate playoff, but after Tiger wins, the drama is over. I don’t really care what he’s doing today. He’s probably hanging out with his family and preparing for the next Major… BOOOORING!!! Call me when the next tournament/American idol season starts.

Second: I read this article about the Canadian government quietly “reclassifying” a handful of lakes as toxic waste dumps for mines, through some legislative loop hole. You can read the article here:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/06/16/condemned-lakes.html
This is a really sick bit of news and it makes my stomach churn. At a time when taking care of our environment is such a pressing issue on everyone’s mind, we cannot allow our government to be doing this kind of big business pandering at the expense of our health and our planet’s health. Send an email to your MP about this one.

Well, to end this blog on a happier note, we are doing well. Happy and healthy. Some shows over the summer, and then we’re going cross Canada in September, so stay tuned for more info on that. But most exciting of all, there are some serious plans for more blogs. I’ve had such a great time writing this blog that we have entered some serious negotiations to release more blogs. Fingers crossed!!! I’d like to thank you all for believing in this blog. Future blog topics will be decided on a national TV show where the viewers will call in to vote for their favourites. I have a dream of growing up to see this blog write it’s own blogs, and for it’s blogs to write their own blogs. Then I’ll be able to carry around pictures of my grandblogs to show all the people I meet. Maybe it will be you one day… maybe it will…

m@