So, we just got back from playing a show in Toronto the other night. Had a great time and met a bunch of great people. Thanks to everyone who came out to the show. We’ll see you again soon.

I’m always amazed at the size of this country. Flying from Vancouver to Toronto is almost 5 hours. I may as well just hang on for a couple more hours and be in England… on ANOTHER CONTINENT!!! That’s insane. But the change from Vancouver to Toronto is a bit like another country. It’s a very different city with a very different history, and a very different energy, and I start to understand the geographical/cultural divide of Canada. There’s more people living along one highway in Southern Ontario than the entire rest of the country combined. If I lived there, I wouldn’t give a shit about what people in Alberta think either. There’s more people there, and in turn, more political seats in parliament than are representative of the rest of the country. And we wonder why people are disenfranchised with politics in Canada and why we just recorded the lowest voter turn out ever.

It was bad enough when I was a kid and no cool bands came to Calgary, but rather, they toured the hell out of Montreal and Toronto and area. That pissed me off. And not to say that politicians are as intelligent as rock bands, but if those bands knew the “important” area of the country, and ignored the rest, then we can assume that politicians would do the same. This, I feel, leads to a bit of a disconnection, and in turn, voter apathy.

We’ve got to shake the apathy out of this country. Let’s just, for a second, take a page out of the American’s playbook. You want people to pay attention? You pay attention to what the people are paying attention to. Last night, I had a choice between watching Die Hard, or the new Obama infomercial. And I picked the infomercial!!!!! WTF??? It’s like the best action flick of all time, and I’m not talking about Die Hard (Please note, Die Hard is one kick ass movie, and I mean no disrespect to that classic, intricate film). The suspense never ends. It goes on and on. Will our hero prevail, and save the entire nation, no, scratch that… the entire planet??!!! Or will the old, bitter, evil genius and his negative tactics of the darkside prevail? Use the force! The force!!! Next thing we’re going to find out is that McCain is Obama’s father, and he’ll cut off his hand, but he’ll get a new one put back on, but he’ll learn that he’s married his sister, but that still won’t be as creepy as the thought of McCain making out with his android wife. I’m out of Popcorn!!!!!

It’s amazing. Elections happen every four years, but this one has raised the bar. For as long as I can remember, it seems the American elections are a choice between Coke and Pepsi. But this year is different. It’s a choice between Coke and Crystal Pepsi. And I thought the public had it’s referendum on Crystal Pepsi and made the verdict pretty damn clear back in the early 90’s. How clear was this verdict? Crystal. (Thank you). And yet, it’s still an (allegedly) tight race. Why? What’s the issue? If this race were happening in Canada, and I was Mr. Obama’s campaign manager, it would be a completely different story. The CBC would hold one debate that no one would watch. Fine, no worries there. We’ll just assume all of Quebec votes for the bloc. Fine, take it. In the maritimes and western Canada, you play those old Crystal Pepsi commercials and randomly insert photos of John McCain to remind people what a bad idea that was, and what a bad idea it will be again. Then you go for the clincher. Think about it – Palin killed a Moose. A moose! The moose is on our Money!!! The queen is on our money, and if you kill her, you get in really big trouble. Does no one else think the moose killing should be similar? All you need is a few dozen moose supports/Crystal Pepsi haters like myself out west, and you’re ready for the coupe de grace. We take the remainder of the $600 million Obama’s raised for his campaign and buy every household in southern Ontario a new car. No attack ads (aside from the ones on soft drinks), no campaign speeches, no platforms, just a really kick ass bribe to the area of the country that has the most people, and in turn, the most voters.

Done and done.

This is our new marketing plan. We’re going to raise $6oo Million, and then use that money to bribe the masses into buying our album. If it works we could be millionaires!!!! I’m a genius.