Allow me to tell you a little story. When I was 11 years old, I went over to my friend Paul’s place. Beautiful summer day. Paul takes me up to his room, and we’re chatting away, listening to some music. He says, “Oh, I have to play you this, I got it from my brother.” His brother was older, and very cool, so I was all ears. He puts in a tape, and I look at the case. It’s a tape by a band called Guns ‘n’ Roses, and the title of the album is “Appetite for Destruction.” Are you kidding me? I’m 11, and to be honest, I’m slightly afraid.

Well… holy shit. Everyone’s got that their story of when they were hooked by music. I was obsessed with Michael Jackson when I was younger (and actually taught myself to dance like him pretty well… ask my highschool), and a bunch of other songs and artists made me dance and sing along, but at that moment, on a hot August day in Paul’s room, I fell in love with a band. I went and bought all their tapes (I had to be very industrious and sneaky, as I was 11, so had limited access to funds, and it was harder than originally anticipated to convince my parents to buy me music by a band with “Guns” in there name, and song titles like “Back off Bitch” and “Right next door to Hell”), and I’d go over to Paul’s and we’d listen to them and talk about how cool they were. He was really into Megadeath and Iron Maiden as well, but I was hooked on the Guns. They looked so awesome in all their photos; Slash always trashed, Axl a bit like a chick, Duff totally out of it. And the Izzy Stradlin trivia was always a hot topic of discussion.

Then it happened. In the fall of 1992, there was an announcement in the paper that G’n’Fn’R were touring across Canada, and making a stop in Edmonton. No Calgary show, but I was not deterred by the three hour drive north. I, having no money or means to make any, begged my parents for tickets. I had never been to a concert before, but knew I wanted to go, and that it would kick ass. Ma and Pa said they’d check it out. Too late. Sold out. No tickets. Major bummer!!

FFWD to xmas morning. I have a present under the tree. It’s a shoe box with something fairly heavy in it. Shoes? No, doesn’t feel right. I open it. Next to a hockey puck (cunningly used as a gift distraction) were two tickets to Guns n’ Roses in Edmonton. I nearly shat myself. I don’t remember what else I got for Christmas that year, or any year to be honest, but I remember that clear as day. I’m sure my parents didn’t approve of my idol worship of drug addicted, womanizing, rockstars, but they were cool enough to support my passion for it. Thank you Mom and Dad.

Amazing concert. My first. I get a T-Shirt. Axl delays the start of the show 2 hours because he can’t find his Bob Dylan tape he wants to listen to. But they do hit the stage. They play all the hits. There’s topless chicks on the stage bringing them beers. I’m sure I’ve gone deaf. I’m excited, stunned, terrified, in awe, almost wishing it would end just so I could tell everyone I knew all about it.
The only other guy I knew at the show was my friend Greg. We both wore our t-shirts to school the next day, and talked endlessly about the show. My t-shirt had the band animated as skeletons, ala Appetite, and Greg’s had their logo with the song title “Coma” on it, and all the dates on the back. Damn, I want the dates on the back of mine. Idiot. I could circle my show with a sharpy, so everyone would know I was there. Don’t panic, my shirt’s still super cool.

Let’s jump now to present day. After 3.5 eons, Chinese Democracy is set to drop in a few short days. This is a major moment. There’s not a lot of bands of such mythical proportions left that are actually releasing new, good, material. These guys redefined rock music. I find myself feeling as excited as I did 16 years ago. Sure, the original members have all been stripped away, but the voice, the attitude, and (I hate to use this word, but it’s true) the brand are still the same. I’ll miss Slash in the promo photos, but as far as the music goes, Slash inspired so many kids to copy his style exactly, there’s more than a few decent Slash knockoffs out there. I really think Axl is going to completely knock this one out of the park. He has to. My 13 year old “rock n roll loving, idol worshipping, fist in the air, wish I could rock that hard but am in reality way too much of a wuss, this is the best F’n band in the world” inner child is depending on it.

m@

p.s. Possibly the best part of the record is that democracy actually almost came to China before this record was done. That would have taken a little wind out of Axl’s sails… and possibly his sales, too.